Toxic Friendships: AKA how not to be a people pleaser

First things first sorry for not posting for a while. I know this is just an excuse and you don't want none of that BS but school has just been a bundle of stress. But I survived (just!)

Now, friendships, another thing that can cause a ton of stress, especially in your school career. I don't know what catalysed this but recently I have been learning so much in regards to this topic and I have come to a lot of conclusions relevant to my own life.

First, as I have learnt from the great Destrey (uh oh my inner Youtube fangirl is escaping!) you don't need a load of friends, just a few that really matter. Now don't get me wrong I've never been one of those people who want a thousand BFFs, but at the same time I don't want to not get along with people. I do have a bit of a rep for a people pleaser and I love nothing more than making someone happy, but the problem occurs when I put that before my own happiness, changing what I want to do and be for others. A few good friends who like ME are better than a million who want to change ME.

Next, you don't owe anyone your friendship and if they don't appreciate it they don't deserve it. I often reach a point in friendships where I'm too scared to leave for two reasons:

1. I don't want to hurt them

2. I don't want to be alone

But I have now realised that if they just hurt me I shouldn't be concerned with whether leaving the frienship hurts them, I need to put me first. And concerning being alone, it's better to be on my own than to be surrounded by people who put me down, especially as a bit of an introvert who can entertain herself for hours! If you're worried about confrontation you don't need to immediately cause conflict. Keeping things under control and taking things one step at a time is often an awesome idea. Deep down you know who truely has your friendship and trust. That's what really matters.

Lastly, never feel the need to justify what positions you give people in your life. I definitely got into the habit of giving people different titles, just to prevent offending them. I reached a point where I had school best friends, best best friends, club friends, out of school best friends, etc. This exhausting exercise was completely unnecessary as how I relate myself to people is completely up to me. If I want one best friend and a selection of friends that's completely okay. If someone is really that miffed about not being your bestest friend they obviously don't properly appreciate your friendship in the first place, and as I've explained you don't need people like that.

Please make sure all your relationships, whether that be friendships, romantic or family, are healthy and that the people around you treated you right. You all deserve to be treated with respect and love because you are truely amazing individuals. Period.

What do you look for in a friend. Tell me in the comments, and remember to stay UnEdited!

-GirlUnEdited x