Toxic Friendships: AKA how not to be a people pleaser

First things first sorry for not posting for a while. I know this is just an excuse and you don't want none of that BS but school has just been a bundle of stress. But I survived (just!)

Now, friendships, another thing that can cause a ton of stress, especially in your school career. I don't know what catalysed this but recently I have been learning so much in regards to this topic and I have come to a lot of conclusions relevant to my own life.

First, as I have learnt from the great Destrey (uh oh my inner Youtube fangirl is escaping!) you don't need a load of friends, just a few that really matter. Now don't get me wrong I've never been one of those people who want a thousand BFFs, but at the same time I don't want to not get along with people. I do have a bit of a rep for a people pleaser and I love nothing more than making someone happy, but the problem occurs when I put that before my own happiness, changing what I want to do and be for others. A few good friends who like ME are better than a million who want to change ME.

Next, you don't owe anyone your friendship and if they don't appreciate it they don't deserve it. I often reach a point in friendships where I'm too scared to leave for two reasons:

1. I don't want to hurt them

2. I don't want to be alone

But I have now realised that if they just hurt me I shouldn't be concerned with whether leaving the frienship hurts them, I need to put me first. And concerning being alone, it's better to be on my own than to be surrounded by people who put me down, especially as a bit of an introvert who can entertain herself for hours! If you're worried about confrontation you don't need to immediately cause conflict. Keeping things under control and taking things one step at a time is often an awesome idea. Deep down you know who truely has your friendship and trust. That's what really matters.

Lastly, never feel the need to justify what positions you give people in your life. I definitely got into the habit of giving people different titles, just to prevent offending them. I reached a point where I had school best friends, best best friends, club friends, out of school best friends, etc. This exhausting exercise was completely unnecessary as how I relate myself to people is completely up to me. If I want one best friend and a selection of friends that's completely okay. If someone is really that miffed about not being your bestest friend they obviously don't properly appreciate your friendship in the first place, and as I've explained you don't need people like that.

Please make sure all your relationships, whether that be friendships, romantic or family, are healthy and that the people around you treated you right. You all deserve to be treated with respect and love because you are truely amazing individuals. Period.

What do you look for in a friend. Tell me in the comments, and remember to stay UnEdited!

-GirlUnEdited x

Living Tree - Poem

Standing alone in these woods, I am the tree,

Strong, tall but vegetated in my own body,

As everything I'm experiencing is happening to me,

While, silently screaming, I just react to the stimuli.

Firm, I am the tree in the bustling forest,

Stuck in a cycle of being acted on and reacting,

Obeyingly I do what I'm told to,

My treacherous roots too securely planted for escape,

For breaking free,

For living, not being alive.

Seasons pass as I stand in the same old forest,

What seems to be pride being conveyed by my mighty, erect posture,

My roots forcing me up to hide my doubts.

Sceptical that this is living I just remain static, 

Whilst, guiltless, my environment continues to change me,

Undressing and dressing me like a barbie doll.

A climbing frame for tomorrow's today, in the well used forest,

Wise, I come to the realisation,

Making my bark covered branches shake with joy,

This hollow frame doesn't need new roots,

Just to be filled with new life to revive it,

New life to make this one worth living.

And when this old forest is no longer enough,

My graceful leaves will gently go where the wind takes them,

Resuscitated by the gust of fresh air,

And with these old roots and branches to keep me company,

I will relocate, reroot and revitalise my body,

And despite the scars left by wind, rain and lightening I will keep living.

I am the tree but I'm also it's leaves,

Adjustable, travelling, always inqusitive.

With the breeze to carry me I will find somewhere new,

Somewhere to break out of this continuous and tiring cycle,

Somewhere to live, not just be alive, because it will be worth living.

I love writing poetry and I thought I'd try sharing it with all of you guys. Let me know what you think in the comments and feel free to comment with anything you've written. I'd love to read it!

-GirlUnEdited

Getting Artsy!

Recently I've been painting to help me relax and distress. I have found that it's really being helping and I've been getting so much enjoyment out of it, so I thought I'd start sharing my creations to help give you guys ideas if you want to start creating!

This was something I painted when I was feeling really stressed and overwhelmed by everything I needed to get done, hence the dramatic sky and incredibly high mountains. It was actually inspired by a line from one of my all time favourite books, The Fault in our Stars! The line is,

"I got to the threshold and looked up and figured I couldn't do it, but also knew the only way through was up."

If any of you guys decide to create anything, whether that be a painting, a poem, a cartoon, etc. be sure to let me know! I'd love to see what you guys can create!

-GirlUnEdited

My Vision!

Inspired by my Queen Tyler Oakley I decided, as one of my steps towards making 2015 a positive year, I would create a vision board just like Tyler. Hopeful having thus board and seeing it everyday will remind me and inspire me to make what I want of my life!

My first section is there to remind me of the more mental parts of me I want to work on and to get help when I need to. It is there to tell me that everything is ok and to seek help in regards to dealing with my stress. It also reminds me to try to improve my confidence both in social situations and how am as a person. Most importantly is there to tell that is ok to talk and it can a great thing

The next section is all about self appreciation. Not only is it filled with words I need to get in to the habit of using to refer to myself such as "fabulos", "timeless" and "vibrant" but it is also filled with beautiful things and amazing people, such as roses and my saviour, Mr Elton John!

Moving on to the small but mighty right hand corner I have this section to remind my self that nothing is permenant. It is there to say that life is "your edit" and that it is perfectly okay to "update your look" when you feel like it. Something's it is nice to be remind that your life is in your hands.

This next section is all about positivity and doing what I love. Not only is it there to tell me to do the things I love, like "bloggings" and taking photos, but also to love life, to giggle, laugh, read, express myself, to dare, to have fun and most importantly "Make Everyday Beautiful." It also have references to red because one day I want to dare and dye my hair bright red, just to make me happy!

In the left hand corner I have a little section just to remind myself to appreciate Britain because I do moan about the weather and the school system but I do live in a beautiful and rich country. One day I will live in London because it is my favourite place in the world.

Next I have a tiny section to encourage me to occasionally be a rebel. I get so worried about upsetting people or getting in to trouble but sometimes you need to break the rules. I have a headline regarding to feminism to remind me to scream and shout about the issues I care about. 

Lastly the centre of my board is the main point and reasoning behind it, and that is who am I? I truely believe that if I live like the board inspires me to I will be living as the best and happiest version of me, and that's what I want to do this year. Be the best me I can?

What do you want to do with 2015? What is your vision for your life? Tell me in the comments, I'd love to hear!

-GirlUnEdited

My Favourite Movies that it infuriates me when People don't know them!!!

I have recently found that occasionly I'll drop a film title in to a conversation and no one what on earth I'm on about. I am aware that quite a lot of what I watch may be a little bit older or a bit less mainstream but in my mind some of these films are so amazing that it should be a crime not to know them. Whether this is because of their cultural importance or if they just make me super duper happy this are films, or should I say pieces of art I love,

1. The History Boys (15) - This film adaptation of the play by Alan Bennett is just so beautiful. Not only does it have so many fantastically quotable lines but it also makes you really think, even if it seriously messes with your head! Just a warning, there is one character you want to hate so much but you can't help loving.

2. Pretty in Pink (15) - In my opinion this is John Hughes greatest coming of age films. Not only do Duckie's struggle perfectly portray the pain of loving someone who doesn't love you back but the style in this is mind blowing. All the outfits, as Duckie would say, are "volcanic", hot and dangerous.

3. Some kind of Wonderful. (12)  - Another John Hughes classic this film is just the perfect display of the pressures on young people today to make the choices everyone wants to do. Similarly to Duckie Watts love for her best friend causes her so much pain, showing perfectly how hurtful raw emotions can be. You will fall in love with every character!

4. School of Rock (PG)  - As always Jack Black's performance is electric. If I'm having a bad day this film never fails to cheer me up, with its perfect blend of comedy and pure rock music. This film is so "hardcore!"

5. "Submarine" (15) - Another coming of age story this film portrays such an honest and down to earth picture of being a teenage, without over exaggerating. Not only are the plot and characters perfect but the cinematography is stunning.

What are some films you love but no one ever knows? Even if they are famous I'd love to hear about favourites in the comments!

-GirlUnEdited

Hey, did you know it's 2015?

I know I'm probably a little late with this post, considering we're already 5 days into the new year but oh well. I am here today to tell you my new resolutions for 2015. Every year I set new year resolutions and they're always a massive list of the usual things, drink more water, workout, etc. Bascially things to try and make myself better in some physical way, whether that's health, appearance, whatever. However this year I've decided to do things a little different. I've decided on 3 (a reasonable number,) resolutions that don't concentrate on the physical or academic aspects of my being but on my happiness. So these are my 3 resolutions to try to make this year a happier one;

1. Talk to more people, especially new people.

2. Be more positive :)

3. Do more things just because they make me happy.

I'm in the process of creating mental action plans to help me actually achieve these things, for example I plan to find and display quotes to make me feel more positive. I'm also starting a jar of awesomely awesome things in 2015, which is something I tried in 2014 but as a year it got a bit rubbish.

So what are your resolutions. Comment yours and let me know and maybe we can all cheer each other on.

Here's to a fabulous 2015!

-GirlUnEdited